Local Straight Spouse Group

We've received the following info about a local support group for the straight spouses of lesbians and gays.

I am sending this notice to all of you to let you
know that a support group for Straight Spouses has
been formed for the greater Kansas City Area. So far,
we have had two meetings, one in Nov, and one in Dec.
We are associated with the Straight Spouse Network
(SSN).

Following is the information on our next meeting:
Our next gathering of the Greater KC area SSN will be
held at 6:00 PM on January 10, 2005, at Carrabba's
Italian Grill, 10586 Metcalf Lane, Overland Park, KS,
66212. Their phone is 913-385-7812. Special thanks to
Tammy for organizing this for us.

We will have a private dining room. The average entrée
w/salad runs around $15 but pastas are less and steaks
are more. Please email me for more info and/or to let
me know you will be attending. Ladybee444@aol.com

Jobs at Lambda Legal

Here's some info we received on jobs at Lambda Legal.

A number of employment opportunities are now available at Lambda Legal due to newly created positions. These positions, as well as currently open positions, are listed below. These are exciting times at Lambda Legal -- come join the team.

Attorney Positions

Lambda Legal always welcomes resumes from attorneys who are interested in employment in any of our offices nationwide. Please send resumes to Hayley Gorenberg, Deputy Legal Director, 120 Wall Street, Suite 1500, New York, NY 10005.

Help Desk Staff Attorney, Any of Lambda Legal's Offices (New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Atlanta, Dallas) (Newly Created Position)
Transgender Rights Attorney, Any of Lambda Legal's Offices (New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Atlanta, Dallas) (Newly Created Position)
Staff or Senior Attorney, Western Regional Office, Los Angeles

Other Job Opportunities

Community Organizer, National Headquarters, New Jersey (Newly Created Position)
Outreach Associate, National Headquarters, New York City (Newly Created Position) Starts 1/1/2005
Major Gifts Officer, Western Regional Office, California -- Bay Area (Newly Created Position)
Paralegal, Midwest Regional Office, Chicago Community Organizer, Iowa (Newly Created Position)
Major Gifts Officer, Southern Regional Office, South Florida Legal Assistant, Southern Regional Office (Atlanta)(Newly Created Position)
Outreach Associate, South Central Regional Office, Dallas (Newly Created Position) Starts 1/1/2005

For more information on all the jobs listed above please visit www.lambdalegal.org

Steve Silberman: Our Traditional Non-Traditional Wedding

Steve Silberman: Our Traditional Non-Traditional Wedding: " As I read through the post-mortems of the 2004 election speculating about whether the gay marriage issue cost John Kerry his presidency -- with many Democrats supporting this view -- I have the disoriented feeling of reading about my sweet, ordinary life with Keith distorted through funhouse mirrors. When writer Bill Bennett places gay marriage in opposition to "ethical values" and a "decent society," as he did in the National Review the day after the election, does he mean us? Apparently so. By now, the concept of marriages like ours has been twisted into such an abstract threat to so many otherwise fine and compassionate people -- and so divorced from the humble blessing of two souls caring deeply for one another -- it's time for a national reality check.

Keith and I are not political activists. His family has traditionally voted Republican, and his parents voted for Bush in the recent election. Until recently, Keith's father was the mayor of a small town in the Midwest; the first time I met him, he took me aside and said, "I know that you are very special to Keith, so that means you are very special to us." There was such simple, human, Midwestern forthrightness in that statement. No banner-waving, no Biblical injunctions, no soapboxing. Just a clear and compassionate message: We love our son and trust his ability to make the most personal decision of all. "

New Newsletter Articles

The main PFLAG-KC site has new newsletter articles and some new events in the calendar.

Transgender Day of Remembrance

There will be a Transgender Day of Remembrance event on November 20th in Lawrence, Kansas. It's probably the only such observance in the state of Kansas.

(www.rememberingourdead.org):
"The Transgender Day of Remembrance was set aside to memorialize those who were killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice. The event is held in November to honor Rita Hester, whose murder in 1998 kicked off the "Remembering Our Dead" web project and a San Francisco candlelight vigil in 1999. Since then, the event has grown to encompass memorials in dozens of cities across the world."

The event will be held at the Plymouth Congregational Church, 925 Vermont at 7:00pm in the chapel. Contact: lawrenceksdor@yahoo.com.

A Time To Ride

Here's some info on the film that will be the program at our October general meeting.

A TIME TO RIDE: a documentary film about the
cross-country bicycle ride of two lesbian grandmothers
in search of marriage equality

Elisia and Carrie Ross-Stone, known as the Rainbow
Grannies, finished their second 3,100 mile
cross-country bicycle ride in New York City on July
10, 2004. The couple, who are life partners, parents
to three grown children and grandmothers to Jareth,
age 2, departed from San Francisco on May 2 to begin
their arduous trek over mountain ranges and across
deserts and prairies. As they pedaled, they stopped to
participate in rallies for marriage equality in
cities and towns along their route.

While they made their way across the country, Carrie
and Elisia met
with people face-to-face and told the story of their
own family. They talked about the hardship of raising
children without legal rights and protections -
protections that are only available to legally
recognized families. They shared their fears of
growing older without the benefit of governmental
programs paid for by their tax dollars.

The 2004 ride has been captured on film by
award-winning filmmaker,
Keith Wilson in a one-hour documentary called A TIME
TO RIDE. The film documents the Grannies struggle,
their courage and their determination in the face of
physical exhaustion, hostility, protests and death
threats.

A TIME TO RIDE is not just the story of the Rainbow
Grannies. It is about real gay and lesbian families
whose lives are affected by politicians and religious
zealots who use fear and ignorance for their own
profit and political gain.

A TIME TO RIDE will be available for viewing by
mid-September to give voters an opportunity to
understand what is really fueling the marriage
equality controversy. To see a trailer of the
documentary, visit ww.ATimetoRide.com

HELP US SPREAD THE FILM'S MESSAGE by organizing a
screening at a PFLAG meeting or in your community
before the November 2 election! For more details of
how you can get involved with this important and
timely project, visit: www.ATimeToRide.com

For more information:
- visit: www.ATimeToRide.com
- contact the director Keith Wilson: 415.269.3279
- contact the Rainbow Grannies: 800.891.8189

Kansas City LGBT Yahoo Group

A Yahoo Group has been started for the LGBT Community in the Greater Kansas City area:

Yahoo! Groups : LGBT-Community-KC "Our group is for all LGBT– Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual,& Transgendered people & our Allies who live in Greater Kansas City. Our purpose is not to compete with LGCC-KC (The Lesbian & Gay Community Center of Greater Kansas City), but to complement their mission & efforts to serve LGBT people & Allies in Greater Kansas City."

LGBT Election Forum

The Four Freedoms Democratic Club asked us to post the following announcement:

Our voices count.

Our opinions count.

Our lives count.

Our issues count.

Our votes count.

WE COUNT

Election 2004

««««««

An election forum covering Missouri, Kansas and National candidates/issues for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender People and their Straight Allies

LEARN WHAT THE ISSUES ARE

LEARN WHY YOUR VOTE MATTERS

LEARN HOW TO GET INVOLVED

DECIDE WHO DESERVES YOUR VOTE

AND MEET THE CANDIDATES!

Sunday, September 26^th

5:00 to 7:00 pm

Spirit of Hope Metropolitan Community Church of Kansas City

3801 Wyandotte Street

SPONSORED BY:

Human Rights Campaign, Four Freedoms Democratic Club, KC Pride Democratic Club, PROMO, Spirit of Hope Metropolitan Community Church

Paid for by Four Freedoms Democratic Club, Miriam Hennosy Treasurer

New Newsletter Articles

This month's newsletter articles are online.

Rainbow Room Rate

The Hyatt Regency Crown Center KC has a special "Rainbow Room Rate" for the GLBT community. It's located in the heart of Kansas City's gay community with museums, theaters, clubs and the Lesbian and Gay Community Center close by. Just ask for the "Rainbow Room Rate" to get your amazingly low "Pride Price" of only $95 all year round.

(816)421-1234
1(800)233-1234
www.crowncenter.hyatt.com

Contact: Mark Suleiman with any questions: (816) 435-4144 msuleima@mkcrkpo.hyatt.com

"Jim in Bold" Press Release

Here's the press release for the upcoming "Jim in Bold" event from the Greater Kansas City chapter of GLSEN.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE	Media Contact: Andy Schuerman
	Phone: 816-309-2591

GLSEN-KC Board Members
Andy Schuerman - Chair
David Alonzo - Secretary
Sharon Sanita - Treasurer
Dr. Jennifer Santee - Accreditation Chair
David Beal - Fundraising Chair
Dr. Sheryl Guth - Membership Chair
Coyote Schaaf - Programming Chair
Jim MacDonald- Member Liaison

Kansas City, Mo. - Growing up gay in rural Pennsylvania was too much for Jimmy Wheeler. An embattled artist with a loving family, the abuse he suffered at school and in the world led to his suicide in 1997. His short life and a look at the environment for lesbian and gay youth after his death are chronicled in the film "Jim in Bold."

The boards of the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN-KC) and Four Freedoms Democratic Club will hold a screening of the film, "Jim in Bold," on Thursday, October 7, 2004 at 7:00 PM at the Tivoli Theater located at 4050 Pennsylvania Avenue in the Manor Square building.

Following the film, a question-and-answer session will be held with one of the film's characters, Andy Brown. A reception with cookies and milk provided by members of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) will conclude the evening.

"Jim in Bold" provides a look at Jimmy Wheeler's life through his paintings and poetry along with vivid and painful interviews with his family. Also in the film is a journey highlighting how things have changed since Jimmy's suicide. Five years after Jimmy's death, three filmmakers trek across the U.S. interviewing lesbian and gay youth to compare their lives to Jimmy's. These interviews are interwoven with those of Jimmy's family members to create a stark contrast from the time in which Jimmy ended his life.

"'Jim in Bold' shows that homophobia can kill," reads a summary of the film on its website, www.jiminbold.org. "The harsh reality of Jimmy Wheeler's abuse is a sober reminder of the destructive power of hate and prejudice."

Highlighting the climate for lesbian and gay youth today is a primary motivator for holding this screening, says Alex Flemington, president of the Four Freedoms Democratic Club.

"The environment for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth improves everyday," said Flemington. "However, much remains to be done to breakdown the institutionalized and internalized homophobia and heterosexism that still pervades our society."

David Beal, GLSEN-KC board member and one of the planners of the event agrees.

"This film illustrates the isolation and loneliness experienced by many lesbian and gay youth," Beal said. "It is the responsibility of us all to expose this isolation and help lesbian and gay youth feel safer in their homes, schools and communities."

According to the film's website, "Jim in Bold' manifests part of Jimmy Wheeler's dream for society.

"'Jim in Bold' is a story of a boy who dreamed of a better world and the people who live his dream today."

Tickets for the film are $10 and can be reserved by calling 816-881-1140 or by e-mailing mhennosy@sbcglobal.net. They may also be purchased at the door the day of the screening.

The Kansas City chapter of the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN-KC) works to ensure a safe environment for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth and those who are questioning their sex ual orientation or gender identity (LGBTQ). The local chapter was established in 1998 and works with schools to identify their most pressing needs related to LGBTQ youth and strategies for addressing those needs including training, policy changes and the establishment of Gay-Straight Alliances for youth. More information about the chapter can be found at www.glsenkc.org.

The Four Freedoms Democratic Club, also established in 1998, provides a voice for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Kansas Citians in the Democratic Party. The organization has sponsored voter registration drives, screened and endorsed candidates for office, campaigned for endorsed candidates and gained political visibility for LGBT people in Kansas City. More information about Four Freedoms Democratic Club can be found at www.fourfreedoms.org.

Center in Westport

Some news about Kansas City's Lesbian & Gay Community Center.

Center in Westport: "We are moving out of the 205 Westport Rd (first floor) space and moving back upstairs (207 Westport Rd.). We hear there is a gay friendly retail space moving into the first floor and and are excited with the possibilities for driving traffic to the upstairs space."

U.S. Senate debates marriage prohibition amendment

U.S. Senate begins debate on constitutional marriage ban

Mail Legislators About the FMA

Here are a couple of sites that allow you to send mail to your legislators about the Federal Marriage Amendment.

Campaign to Protect the Constitution

Human Rights Campaign

Articles From Our Newsletter

This month's newsletter articles and our calendar of events have been updated.

The new articles include a message from National PFLAG about the PTA story that we posted some links about earlier.

PFLAG Ins and Outs

Here's a couple of odd events that involved PFLAG.

The National PFLAG organization was invited to attend the National PTA convention, then disinvited, then reinvited, then re-disinvited and then re-reinvited on the condition that they not bring one of their booklets.
PFLAG heads to PTA meeting
PFLAG Becomes First Gay Advocacy Group To Address National Parent Teacher Group

Movie Theater Reverses Course On PFLAG Ads: "A movie theater reversed course Tuesday just hours after it said it would no longer run advertisements for a group of parents supporting gay rights because of complaints."

More From The Constitution Defense League

Here's some info on the CDL's next fund raiser:

You’re invited to Join Our Campaign
to Defeat Amendment 2

The Constitution Defense League is fighting for Gay & Lesbian Couples in Missouri. Defeating Amendment 2 on the August 3rd ballot will give hope to couples across our nation!

Friday, June 25 • 5:00pm to 7:00pm
Starring the Demented DIVA Duo: Missy Koonce & Cathy Barnett

FUN • FOOD • CASH BAR • AND A CHANCE TO MAKE HISTORY!
WANT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE? NOW IS YOUR OPPORTUNITY!
DONATIONS GRATEFULLY ACCEPTED AT THE DOOR

It's up to US to show the nation that Missouri is a loving &
non-discriminating state that values all of its citizens!!

---

The Constitution Defense League (CDL) is the campaign committee working to defeat Amendment 2. The CDL consists of gay and straight individuals and organizations like HRC, NGLTF, PROMO, Four Freedoms, KC Pride, ACLU and many more.

Want to learn more? Online: www.constitutiondefenseleague.org Call us: 816-753-7559

Senate Votes To Extend Hate Crime Protections To Gays and Lesbians

Senators vote 65-33 in support of law against hate crimes - Advocate.com: "The U.S. Senate on Tuesday, on a 65-33 vote, overwhelmingly passed legislation that would fully prosecute bias-motivated crimes that target individuals based on sexual orientation. Every Democrat in attendance voted in favor of the legislation, as did 18 Republicans."

Senate votes to extend hate crime protections to gays, lesbians - billingsgazette.com: "The Senate voted 65-33 Tuesday to give gays and lesbians protection under the federal hate crime law, and officials said a debate was likely next month on a far more controversial measure to amend the Constitution with a ban on homosexual marriages."

Support For Straight Spouses

We've gotten a lot of requests for support from straight spouses of gays and lesbians recently. So our board members in charge of support have asked me to post a notice that straight spouses in the Kansas City area who need support can email them at

Declining rates of youth suicide could be due to growing acceptance of gays

The Advocate reports that declining rates of youth suicide could be due to growing acceptance of gays:

The rate of suicide among American youngsters and teens has dropped dramatically in the last decade, particularly with regard to firearms deaths, the government said Thursday. The suicide rate for those ages 10 to 19 fell by about a quarter, from 6.2 deaths per 100,000 people in 1992 to 4.6 per 100,000 in 2001, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said. CDC researchers did not immediately know why the rate dropped, but one expert said issues concerning stigma over sexual orientation has played an important role in reducing teenage suicides. Charles Wibbelsman, chief of the Teenage Clinic of Kaiser Permanente in San Francisco and a member of the American Academy of Pediatrics' committee on adolescents, said the easing of the social stigma of being gay or lesbian may have played a role, as one in three male suicides are because of sexual orientation. "There are [TV] shows [concerning gays and lesbians] today that weren't on nine years ago," he said. "It's been much more out, and in that respect we've saved a lot more people's lives."

Constitution Defense League

Update: I've been asked me to mention that the Constitution Defense League's main message is "Vote No on Amendment 2".

Here's some information on the Constitution Defense League:

Discrimination is Up for a Vote on August 3rd!

The Constitution Defense League is a coalition of Missourians that formed in March of this year to defeat an amendment to the Missouri Constitution outlawing recognition of same-sex couples. The coalition includes a number of organizations that work for equality before the law for all Missourians:

• PROMO, Missouri's statewide advocacy group for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender equality
  


• The American Civil Liberties Union, (Eastern Missouri / Western Missouri & Kansas Chapters)
  


• The Four Freedoms Democratic Club Kansas City
  


• Columbia/ Mid-MO LGBT Coalition

Our strategy is one of aggressive voter identification, education, mobilization, and fundraising throughout the state. We are also coordinating a massive volunteer recruitment and organization effort from our offices in St. Louis, Kansas City, Columbia and Springfield.

NOW is the time to VOLUNTEER to DEFEAT this Amendment!

Neighborhood canvassing every Wednesday evening from 5:30-7:30 pm and Saturday morning from 9:30 -11:30 am. Call 816 753-7559 and make a difference.

NOW is the time to make a donation.

Contribute online: www.ConstitutionDefenseLeague.org  or send your check payable to Constitution Defense League, 207 Westport Road, Suite 209, Kansas City, MO 64111

www.constitutiondefenseleague.org

Miriam Hennosy

Hm: 816 363-7191

Cell: 816 820-0516

Office: 816 753-7559

Gay-marriage supporter won't seek re-election

LJWorld.com : Gay-marriage supporter won't seek re-election to Kansas Senate: "David Adkins, the only member of the Kansas Senate to publicly support gay marriage, is not seeking re-election."

Missouri To Vote On Anti-Gay Amendment In August

Missouri To Vote On Anti-Gay Amendment In August
: "A battle between Republicans and Democrats over the timing of a vote on a proposed amendment to the state constitution to ban same-sex marriage was settled Thursday by the Missouri Supreme Court.
In a 6-1 decision the court said that the proposal should be put on the ballot in August."

Film Festival No Longer June 25

While updating PFLAG-KC's event calendar I discovered that the annual Kansas City Gay and Lesbian Film Festival is no longer scheduled for June 25.

The 2004 Kansas City Gay & Lesbian Film + Video Festival is changing. The biggest change is that the 2004 festival will not begin on June 25th at the Tivoli Theatre as previously announced. We will be revamping the festival format as well as adding film discussions and other special events.

2004 Kansas City Gay & Lesbian Film + Video Festival

June In the Life profiles PFLAG founders

The June episode of In the Life will include a profile of the founders of Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays on the occasion of PFLAG's 30th anniversary.

June In the Life profiles PFLAG founders

The Conjecturer: Fisking Focus on the Family

This is an interesting analysis of Focus on the Family's postion on gay marriage

The Conjecturer: Fisking Focus on the Family

I found it via Andrew Sullivan's website.

Missouri Anti-Gay Amendment Heads To State Supreme Court

Missouri Anti-Gay Amendment Heads To State Supreme Court: "The battle over the timing of a vote for a proposed amendment to the Missouri constitution to bar same-sex marriage moved to the state Supreme Court Monday. "

Gay benefits issue hits Wichita

Gay benefits issue hits Wichita: "About 40 residents called City Hall on Friday morning, urging Wichita City Council members not to select a city manager candidate who supports domestic partner benefits."

The Verdict Is In

Missouri judge rules in dispute over same-sex-marriage amendment

Courts block moves to put gay marriage ban on August ballot

More Missouri Marriage Prohibition Weirdness

Missouri Gov. Bob Holden and Secretary of State Matt Blunt are battling over when voters will get to vote on the gay marriage prohibition amendment to the Missouri constitution.

Missouri Attorney General Sues Sec. Of State Over Gay Marriage Ban

Holden hopes to schedule same-sex marriage vote for August

Have Gay Marriage Foes Lost?

InstaPundit thinks that the events in Kansas are one of the signs that gay marriage foes have lost.

And he's got a photograph of a pretty cool church sign.

Update: Mike Silverman points out that Kansas still has a law banning gay marriage that's been found constitutional. He's also got a history of the amendment.

Kansas Rejects Marriage Prohibition Again

The Kansas Gay Marriage Prohibition amendment was brought back via a legislative trick but was rejected again, this time by the House.

Kansas lawmakers reject gay-marriage amendment

Anti-Gay Amendment Dies Second Death In Kansas

Kansas City AIDS Walk

The 16th Annual AIDS WALK/RUN Kansas City is this Saturday, May 1st, at 10:00am in Mill Creek Park.

Kansas Marriage Amendment Part 2?

Supporters of a marriage prohibition amendment are urging Kansas senators to reconsider.

Gay marriage issue may be resurrected

Missouri House Passes Gay Marriage Prohibition Amendment

They did vote on it this session after all.

House passes gay marriage amendment

Update: Here's a link that doesn't require registration. Missouri Anti-Gay Amendment Moves Closer To Ballot

And here's another one. Missouri House passes amendment barring gay marriage

Missouri House Discusses Gay Marriage Prohibition Amendment

The Missouri House Committee on Children and Families discussed a gay marriage prohibition amendment today.

House committee discusses gay marriage amendment

They may not vote on it in this session however.

Social Selection Theory

Social Selection theory is the idea that a person's or animal reproductive success can be influenced by their social ties. I've heard that it may explain the evolution of homosexuality in human beings. The idea being that homosexuality leads to more diverse social relationships that benefit both homosexual people and their families.

I find this interesting because a common topic of discussion at PFLAG meetings is how a friend or relative's coming out wound up having a surprisingly positive impact on your life. That would seem to agree with the theory.

Here's an interview with the scientist who came up with the theory.

Gay Pride Week in Lawrence

The Lawrence Journal-World has an article with more information on Lawrence's Gay Pride Week.

A heartland divided: Penny Henry

USA Today published this article on PFLAG-KC board member Penny Henry.

A heartland divided: Penny Henry
By Cathy Lynn Grossman, USA TODAY
While headlines on gay rights focus on legal wrangling, political posturing and the booming voices of activists right and left, people in the nation's heartland wrestle with the issue more quietly. USA TODAY's Cathy Lynn Grossman asked people in Johnson County, Kan., how their views toward homosexuality were formed and how those attitudes shape their actions day by day. (Related photo gallery: The debate over gay rights)

"This is my gay son, and this is my married son": Penny Henry of Overland Park is proud of Roger, left, and Doug, pictured with daughter McCalla.
By Eileen Blass, USA TODAY

Profile

Age: 63. Occupation: administrative assistant at a bank. Divorced with two adult sons — one of them married with children and the other one gay. Raised Christian but no longer attends church. An officer for the metropolitan Kansas City-area chapter of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG). Registered Republican "so I can mess with them in the primaries." Spent most of her life in a rural town of 3,000 before moving to Overland Park.

Influences

Henry was "devastated" when her son Roger, now 38, told her 12 years ago that he is gay — one of those people she just "knew" were "sick perverts going to hell."

"I don't even know the origins of the prejudices that I used to have. Where did I get it? From my parents? From church? From living in a small town in '50s Kansas?

"I knew Roger was different from the get-go, but I thought if I never mentioned 'gay,' it would never happen," she says. "Now I'm just sorry I missed a quarter-century of really knowing him. I don't understand parents who don't love and accept their sons."

Views

Henry tries to change the world, one consciousness raised at a time. "I don't think we can make change through legislation. We have to change minds and hearts. For a lot of people, the idea that 'gay' is normal is very frightening."

She recalls when public schools in nearby Olathe pulled a young-adult novel about lesbian teens from the library in 1993. It took a lawsuit by students and parents to get the book, Annie on My Mind, back in circulation.

"The more people know other gay people or realize there are gay people in their family, the more understanding there is going to be of how they are just like everyone else and should have the same rights," she says.

There are two portraits on her office desk. "I always show people, 'This is my gay son, and this is my married son.' Only one person ever gasped."

In letters and e-mail bluntly questioning her congressmen, all but one opposed to gay marriage and civil unions, Henry wrote: "You don't know me from Adam's off ox. I am not a political animal, but I vote regularly ... and once or twice have had a campaign poster in my yard. ... However, now that you have started messin' with one of my kids, hang on to your hat. ... Why is my many-times married first son entitled to hundreds and hundreds more rights and benefits under the law than my second?"

Updates to Calendar and Newsletter

The PFLAG-KC calendar of events and newsletter have just been updated with new events and articles.

HRC House Party

The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) will be hosting "A House Party to Benefit the Human Rights Campaign" for PFLAG-KC members:

April 17th, 2004 at 3:00 pm

Sharps 63rd Street Grill
128 West 63rd St.
Kansas City, MO

RSVP to PFLAG-KC President Jamie Lee if you plan on attending.

HRC asks that you please bring a contribution to support them.

KU's Pride Week

The following events are part of KU's Pride Week. All events are free and open to the public.

Monday April 12th
Rep. Sabrina Sojourner Lecture 7:30-Pam in Woodruff Aud. Kansas Union
She's faced it all: Racism, sexism, and homophobia as the first African American lesbian elected to the US Congress. Come hear her lecture on human rights and domestic policy

Tuesday April 13th
Queer Movie Night: Featuring Soldier's Girl 8-10pm in the Big 12 Room Kansas Union
The story of Barry Winchel, a GI murdered after having a relationship with a transgender entertainer. FREE POPCORN!

Wednesday April 14th
Brown Bag Diversity Series Presents a Sean Barker Lecture -- Representing the Queer: A Consideration of Politics and Visual Culture
Noon-1pm at the Multicultural Resources Building on the KU Campus

Thursday April 15th
Religion and Oppression Panel Discussion 2:30-4pm in Alderson Auditorium Kansas Union
a discussion on how the Bible has historically been used to oppress different groups of people including African Americans, women, homosexuals, and Jews.

Internalized Homophobia Workshop with Dr. Joe Kort
7-9:30pm in the Centennial Room of the Kansas Union
an Adjunct Professor of Gay and Lesbian Studies at Wayne State University and psychotherapist helps with issues that occur even after the coming out process

Friday April 16th
11th Annual Brown Bag Drag Show hosted by Robin Banks and Balerie Dolls and featuring some of Kansas' finest Queens
Noon-2 at the Kansas Union Plaza

Saturday April 17th
Pride March and Rally
1pm meet at South Park and march down Massachusetts St. to Watson Park where we can Rally and partake of Jimmy Johns sandwhiches

Queer Comedy and Theatre night
Alderson Auditorium Kansas Union -- 7:30-9:30
Featuring KU playwrights and stand up comedy

Update: Here's the event's web page. Pride Week 2004

New Survey Shows Stigma Against Gays Is Fading

Stigma against gays fading, survey finds
"as gays and lesbians have become more open, heterosexuals in return have become more open toward them"

Update: Here's an article with more info about the survey.

USA Today Poll

There's a poll on USA Today's website on the gay marriage constitutional amendment.

Should the U.S. pass a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage?

Kansas City Gay Health Survey

Here's an article on the results of Kansas City's gay heath survey.

Microscope Put To Gay Health

50-State Rundown On Gay Marriage Laws

The Kansas City infoZine has a 50-State Rundown On Gay Marriage Laws.

Missouri House Passes Anti-Gay Amendment

A proposed amendment to the Missouri Constitution that would ban same-sex unions passed the House on Wednesday.

There are articles about it on 365gay.com and the St. Louis Post-Dispatch's site.

Talking Points On Marriage

Advocate.com has a couple of "Talking Points On Marriage" articles that counter arguments against same-sex marriage.

Talking points on marriage, part 1

Talking points on marriage, part 2

Senator Adkins

The Lawrence Journal-World has an interesting article on the positive and negative responses that Republican state Senator David Adkins is getting for having lead the fight last week against the proposed amendment to the state constitution that would have banned gay marriage.

Acceptance is on the Rise

QueerDay reports that polls show acceptance of gays is on the rise.

OutNow 2004

Kansas City's Gay & Lesbian
Film & Video Festival
June 25 - July 8

The largest LGBT film & video festival in the Midwest is currently accepting entries for various genres and unique categories.
Visit www.kcgayfilmfest.org for more details.

A Family's Story

This article about a PFLAG-KC family was published in the Dispatch Tribune.

From dispatchtribune.com


Northland News
A family’s story
Mar 10, 2004, 14:31

By Kathleen Stander
kstander@printownsend.com

The Lee family, of Liberty (from left): Richard, Jamie, Andy, Katibeth, Uncle Dennis and John. John told his family he was gay on Dec. 23, 2002. “We just celebrated our one-year anniversary of asking him,” said his mother, Jamie. “John brought me flowers home — he’s always done sweet things — and halfway through the day I realized it was the anniversary.”

It was an “Aha” moment, that December day, when a Liberty mother received three words of advice from a longtime friend who was a high school guidance counselor. The mother and her husband needed to talk to their son about a personal issue but didn’t know how to approach the subject.

“Just ask him,” was the friend’s advice.

It seemed simple enough — simple, but scary. The three syllables would speak volumes if voiced.

The couple decided to take her advice. They were nervous, but when the son came home from college for Christmas break, when the time was right, they asked him.

“John, are you gay?”

When he said yes, tears came for everybody: tears of relief, tears of grief.

“The overwhelming grief that our precious son had struggled with this knowledge for years on his own,” said Jamie Lee. “I asked him why he hadn’t told us sooner, and I’ll never forget the look on his face when he said, ‘I was terrified.’”

Lee and her husband, Richard, do not want other gay children to be afraid. They have had to come out of the closet, too, to friends, and family. They’ve been there; they want to help others.

“It’s a crisis when a kid comes out,” she said. “For most kids, it’s the biggest thing they’ll ever tell anybody.”

Lee said it could also be the biggest thing that parents would ever hear.

“Parents go into the closet when their kids come out,” she said. “We spend our lifetimes as parents networking about everything: Who’s the best orthodontist, who’s the best Boy Scout leader, what church has the best youth group? You network, and you talk to all of your friends, but the minute your kid says he’s gay, you stop talking, and you don’t get help.”

Lee got help by turning to Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. Her longtime friend, the high school guidance counselor, was a lesbian. It was she who suggested PFLAG to Lee, along with a multitude of valuable Internet sites to visit and book titles to check out. Lee said her husband immediately left for the library to pick up recommended titles. Then, they got on the Internet.

“(Richard) said that we had to ‘get out of the stupid zone overnight,’” she said. “Every book I read was right on target.”

Shortly after becoming a regular at PFLAG meetings, Jamie Lee became president of the Kansas City chapter of the support organization based in Prairie Village, Kan.

“The chapter president was moving to New York, and they could tell I was very passionate about it,” she said. “This is the first time I’ve ever been on a board — I’ve been a homemaker my whole married life.

“I consider this a real job,” she said. “I’m asked to speak once a month.”

(Lee’s most recent speaking engagement was as a panelist at a town hall meeting held in Liberty March 2. See story, page XXXXXX).

“There’s gay kids north of the river,” she said. “My son can’t be the only gay in Liberty. In this community, we have this perception that we are middle class, white, Christian community, and that means that there are no gays who live here. Well, there are gay couples that live here with children. There are gay kids by the hundreds, probably. If you look at the statistics, six to 10 percent of the population would be considered homosexual.”

Once upon a time, Lee said, she could have been the poster child for “semihomophobic” living. She and her husband considered themselves conservative Christians. They attended church together. She was involved with Moms in Touch, an organized prayer group that meets to pray for students’ safety in schools. Their family was untouched by controversy, she said. They were middle class; their children excelled academically and were involved in extracurriculars at Liberty High School. She was an active volunteer in the community.

Then they learned that their middle child was homosexual. Some church friends stopped being so friendly. The family no longer attends their hometown church because Lee wants to go to a church that will accept her son.

“My son has always had a very strong relationship with the Lord,” she said.

It’s possible to be a strong Christian and be gay, according to Lee, who said many gays had a difficulty recognizing that they could be both gay and Christian. The particular issue is so common that PFLAG has a pamphlet called “Faith in Our Families — Parents, Families and Friends Talk about Religion and Homosexuality.”

For the Lee family, using humor has helped. Jamie Lee said that John was thinking of designing a T-shirt: “You can’t pray my gay away.” She also jokes that soon she’ll receive her free toaster for “signing up” kids to be gay.

There’s still misinformation out there, she said, that someone can be “made gay.” Getting the information and getting involved is everything, she said. It makes a “huge impact” on gay kids and gay adults. The Lee’s youngest child, Katibeth, a sophomore at LHS, supports her brother and the work her family does for the gay community. She has heard the hurtful comments hurled at other students in the school hallways; she has responded by saying the comments were stupid. At school, she carries a binder that has a rainbow sticker on it. Once, Jamie Lee said, a student saw that sticker and then asked Katibeth who to talk to about coming out.

Just get involved, Lee advises.

“Go to a meeting, join an organization, march in a gay pride parade,” she said. “It makes a huge difference. Even if their parents are accepting, it just gives them another avenue to chat and talk with other parents who are regular everyday parents from their community.

It seems that all the stuff I hear from adult gay people is that their parents don’t ask them about their lives.”

Lee said children, several from Liberty High School, have begged her to invite their parents to a PFLAG meeting.

“‘Please, could you just talk to my dad or my mom and get them to go?’” she said. “They want them to be involved in their lives.”

From the moment John answered “yes,” his family has been involved. Lee said they distributed an “out letter” to family and friends. She spent an entire Sunday afternoon calling people to tell them that John was gay.

“Nobody was surprised,” she said. “Their biggest thing was, without fail, every one of them said, ‘He must be so relieved.’”

John had done all the “appropriate things” while growing up, his mother said. He dated girls, took a girl to prom. He had a circle of friends. He was involved in the theater department at LHS; he was cast in the lead of one musical as a sophomore. He seemed like a happy kid. He’d already told some of his friends and his older brother, Andy, he was gay.

That was before his parents asked him. Since answering yes to their question, John has relayed stories to his family about some of the harassment he’d received while a student at LHS — walking the halls, hearing the word “faggot” echoing after his steps. Now, he keeps his mother informed, usually by e-mail, about other LHS students who have come out since going away to college.

“News flash — guess who’s out now,” John has written, from his college home at Oklahoma City University, where he is a music theater major.

“How cliché!” his mother said, laughing. “He loves singing and dancing. … He’s a fabulous tapper. Luckily he’s in the performing arts. … He’s in a field where it’s more accepted.”

Lee said that after she and her husband marched with the PFLAG group in a parade, they called John to tell him. Of course, he was proud.

“Now he’s living the authentic life he was meant to live,” she said.

For more information about PFLAG, visit www.pflagkc.org, or call 765-9818.

© Copyright 2003 by Townsend Communications LLC

Letter To the Kansas City Star

Here's an letter from a PFLAG-KC member that was recently published in the Kansas City Star.

Kansas City
Fifty years ago, America had distinct classes of people. In arenas ranging from education to recreational facilities to transportation, black people had separate facilities, usually inferior and sometimes nonexistent.

Until the courts stepped in, black people were excluded from the mainstream of American life.

Even today, a different group, homosexuals, continues to be excluded from one mainstream American institution. Every government in the country allows heterosexuals to marry, but no government provides homosexuals with similar treatment.

A few provide inferior institutions like domestic partnerships. Most ignore homosexuals entirely.

I'm writing to support last week's decision by the Massachusetts high court granting equal access to marriage. I would have preferred legislative action, but legislatures appear as resistant to the idea of equal treatment today as they were during the 1950s.

All taxpaying, law-abiding American citizens should be subject to a single set of rules, and I'm grateful to the Massachusetts court for recognizing that.

Paul Hough

First Post

This weblog will be used to post news and articles of interest to the members of the Greater Kansas City Chapter of Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG-KC).